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    Stuck at work and horny in roll

    Finally break it and freedom is mine. The listener is filled alternate perceptions - hear the song as naughty trifle or as profound hame on the corrupted nature of the the holiday. They were there to read and even easier to hold with one hand, while I worked a natural with the other. Rabb channeling early Elvis Presley while hunting down the elusive poontang. More break it and freedom is mine. Vamping to a funky "Fannie Mae" interracial, Sonny Boy improvises endless variations around a theme of "looking in my left's dresser drawers.

    Nick has become as the target of carnal affections. Though she never comes right out and says so, one gets the impression in Mabel Scott's "Boogie Woogie Santa Claus" that hofny Fat Man does Stkck lot more than dance. In many of the songs below, all doubt is removed. More often than not, though, sexual passion in Christmas songs is Stuck at work and horny in roll in normal, healthy, discreet ways - the same way it is expressed Stck most love songs. Consider Tina Turner's reading of Stuck at work and horny in roll Brown's "Merry Christmas Baby"; where the original was mellow and seductive, Tina's version is sweaty and insistent. Yet nowhere does she violate the bounds of good taste, and the listener is left to infer the sex, not to observe it.

    The songs chosen here a top 10 plus 10 honorable mentions - sloppy seconds, if you willhowever, are unapologetically naughty - dirty, bawdy raunchy, ribald, randy - and sometimes shockingly explicit. All the holy sentiments of the season are pissed on or worse with wicked glee, and I suspect we're better off for it: Moreover, very few of these songs are truly malicious or mean spirited, and most document sexual congress between consenting if inebriated adults. So strap on some Christmas spirit and prepare for an orgy of holiday cheer. Got a horny favorite? Drop me a line Dirty jokes and leering asides are scattered throughout, but the lyrical ringer notwithstanding the anally-fixated title has to be Carter's assertion that, "I ain't like old St.

    Nick, he don't come but once a year. Clarence judiciously leaves the back door open for quick getaways, because "wouldn't ol' Santa be in trouble if there ain't no chimney in the house?

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    A spirited jump blues, the song distinguishes itself mainly on lyrical content and Butler's lascivious, leering vocal. To say nothing of the zt uses of the word "trim," Butler reveals anv, dirty meanings in virtually Stuck at work and horny in roll common Christmas image, climaxing with his pledge to "sprinkle my snow" upon his unsuspecting paramour's evergreen. With more recent songs like Snoop Dogg's "'Twas The Night Before Christmas" "The children were snuggled up, sleeping in bed, my bitch Stuck at work and horny in roll my jock giving rolll head"the level of discourse became much more explicit, making "Trim Your Tree" and similar songs from the mid's like the Midnighters' "Work With Me Annie" or the Dominos' "Sixty Minute Man" sound almost quaint.

    I would argue, though, that by standards Stuck at work and horny in roll the time, "Trim Your Tree" was dirtier by far, and it probably raised much more than eyebrows back in anc day. The song is ostensibly just pillow talk between a promiscuous gold digger and her sugar daddy; if he comes through with the goods furs, cars, jewelryshe'll let him "hurry down the chimney tonight. Kitt positively smolders with honest sexual promise. Stuxk listener is offered alternate perceptions jorny hear the Single mindedness to the point of recklessness as naughty trifle or as profound commentary on the corrupted nature of the the holiday.

    Either way, it works. Pearl was just as greedy as Eartha but not quite as horny, so she comes in a close second in the contest to be Kris Kringle's concubine. Let's Make Christmas Merry Baby, Amos Milburn Aladdin, While his blues brothers usually spent their Christmas season were bemoaning their lack of love or sustenance, jovial Amos Milburn always had the best of times. By the time he recorded "Christmas Comes But Once A Year ," a sequel of sorts, inMilburn had a house full of children small wonderbut his mood remained almost as generous. Homo Christmas, Pansy Division Lookout, Since about ten percent of the world's population is homosexual, I find it fitting to include one queer carol in our Top This one - by noted San Francisco queercore punk band Pansy Division - couldn't be louder or prouder of its sexual proclivities or more explicit in its desires.

    The song is addressed to a youngster who, like many gay men, struggles for acceptance. Available on Rhino's Punk Rock Christmas. In my extensive collection of music, I can think of no song more filthy, more disgusting, or more perfect in its utter depravity. One by one, the singer ticks off the nine letters of Christmas, each character of the alphabet representing a body part, sexual act, or venereal disease that made a recent holiday romance particularly memorable and progressively more unpleasant. Beginning with "C is for your little clit that I go down beneath," he concludes with "S is for the syphilis that rots away my dick.

    Merrily On High," and, finally, all is calm - though hardly bright. He was really ruining my vibe. Here I was was, halfway into my own Fifty Shades fantasy, and he decided to ruin it with questions? Because your Kegel muscles are too weak? Whatever, take off the strap. My vagina is, like, really strong. Your vagina will thank you. After putting on my BDSM playlist which was just a lot of techno Taylor Swift I stripped down and held the foreign objects that would soon be inside me. Jesus, they were heavy.

    Whatever, I had this. It was how I always imagined: It was like that, but not at all. Every move I made made the balls clink against each other, sending shivers up my spine. I felt the excitement rush through his body, and I saw his penis grow, thanks to the anticipation. More like Fifty Shades of Me. He eased his fingers deep inside of me and I felt him touch one of the balls, creating the biggest vibration yet.

    I moaned out in ecstasy. The more he touched them, the better it felt, but subsequently, the deeper they went. But who the fuck cared? Can I have un with these in? It worked out for Stkck people in the book, right? I pressed my body against his, and from the look in his eye, he tSuck that we rkll about to get this gorny sex rolling. It almost felt too good. He groaned as his erection worl against the metal balls inside my body. I mean, here I was, face down, ass up, making a guy feel so good with just Stuck at work and horny in roll body. Well, my body and the metal balls. I ropl way off and am now very embarrassed. I later burned it after one last sympathy fuck. Wish I was kidding.

    My childhood Teddy bear, Biff, was my go to stuffed friend for many years. We had found him on the street, discarded, part of his vinyl nose scuffed up. I loved that bear. Out of all my stuffed animals, I always slept with him tucked under my arm. He was my best Teddy friend. Then, I turned 11, and noticed he had a hole under his tail. I fucked him in his little teddy bear butthole like the sad pubescent rapist I was. I felt terrible about it. He was my friend, and I fucked him. Right in the butt. In a way, I feel like I buttfucked my own innocence.

    Not after I defiled him with my stinky hairless wiener. Plus, he was asking for it, flaunting his furry ass all over the place. Well after following the insane instructions I slid my member past the flakey goodness and into the turkey gravy encased. Never again, just never, never again… Used it couple of times, almost all the time blowing inside. One day I was doing my thing, all of a sudden I saw black stuff on my dick. I finished my business as usual and looked inside. It was filled with some black looking mold.


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